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Our Danish-ish Christmas

December 29, 2018February 20, 2019 frustratednester4 Comments

Back in October people kept asking me what we would do for Christmas. It was a matter of days since we'd moved into our house, I'd had no routine for months, and boxes were still piled in barely-furnished rooms. I would have been quite happy pretending that Christmas wasn't going to be a thing until… Continue reading Our Danish-ish Christmas

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❤️Souvenirs ❤️ . Most objects that really stir an emotion in me remind me of people, rather than just a place. . #mayonthemove2020 day 13 . Here’s a wee tour from our home, of some of our people: . 1. Whenever I visited @kampalafair with friends, I would lust over these colourful rag rugs being handwoven on the terrace. Said friends got me one as a leaving present, including @melfit.athome.yes 😘 . 2. A pot that reminds me of a special moment in Uganda with my brother, Congolese malachite, another leaving gift from special friends, and handwoven Rwandan baskets, brought to us by our Ugandan driver after he visited the Rwandan branch of his family. . 3. Ink drawing of a Congolese beach case by @effecm . 4. Indonesian fabric panel, a gorgeous gift from @ira_rachma . 5. Stunning painting by our friend @blackie_paints. . 6. France meets Scotland in a reminder of our Pauster friends, including the artist @dotrogersting . 7. A Scottish friend in Esbjerg gave us this evocative card by @gilliankyle for our housewarming - had to be framed! . 8. This piece of pagne, as it’s called in Congo, was given to me by the woman who cleaned the stairs in our building. She wasn’t employed by us, I barely knew her, but I helped her out a couple of times with medical expenses - just a few quid. I don’t know if I’ll ever use this particular pattern, but I’ll always keep it, and remember that tiny gestures can mean more to people than we can guess. . 9. Memories of Friday nights at Camel Club with special friends in Kampala - this lamp design was part of its chic decor. . #souvenirs #memories #favouriteart #kampala #uganda #congo #scotland #france #mayonthemove #instagramchallenge #maychallenge #expatchallenge #expatlife #expatliving #immigrant #immigration #immigrantstories #immigrantexperience #internationalliving #repat #repatriation #community #communitychallenge #internationalcommunity #expatcommunity #globalnomad #creatingconnection #shareandconnect @oregongirl_aroundtheworld @theinternationaldenmark

🇩🇰 Language 🇩🇰 . I was horrified with myself a few years ago, when we arrived at a resort near Dubrovnik. . It was our first proper holiday as a family, with a 14mo, and the next one on the way. In the whirlwind of new parenthood (as well as preparing for our very complicated upcoming move) not only had I not done my usual close reading of the guidebook, but I had not learned one word of Croatian. I hadn't even looked up the words for please and thank you. . I felt completely lost in that moment. Not because I couldn't be understood, but because I felt a chunk of my identity was missing. I prided myself as being someone who learned the basic phrases wherever I went, with ease. I was the kind of tourist who paid at least that much respect to the local culture. . The culture shock of parenthood had turned me into someone who said, 'just get me there!' . In the autumn I stopped going to Danish lessons because I wanted that chunk of time back for other things. There's a balance to be found between making the effort to integrate and investing too much time and energy in a language that I'll only use for, most likely, another year, and even then, rarely. And it takes a LOT of investment to communicate comfortably in Danish. . But I had a rethink of that philosophy recently. It's one thing for your language to mark you out as a foreigner in daily life, but quite another in a time of crisis. I've been making more of an effort to use my limited Danish over the past weeks, and found that I can get further than I realised. I've surprised MT with how much of the government's information bulletins I can read before I have to open Google translate. . All that's given me enough of a thrill (yes, a thrill - #geekingout) to recommit to learning more Danish. Hopefully, once I have full days back (kids are only in school for half days) I'll find a class that suits me. In the meantime, I'm dipping into language apps in spare moments, and just might finally open that audiobook I downloaded... . . . #language #languagegeek #learndanish #laerdansk #languagelearning

I was supposed to be in Stockholm this weekend for @swfestival writers’ festival. They’re doing a virtual version instead (the ‘stuck home’ writers’ festival 😉), so I’ve reclaimed the study for some virtual creative retreat time. Bonus: I get to make my own tea and choose my own snacks 😊 (My ‘book nerd’ mug isn’t very instagrammable, but that’s what it says!) . #stuckhome #stockholmwritersfestival #amwriting #amlearning #retreatathome #writinglife #writersofinstagram #booknerd

🎭 Missing 🎭 . One of the things I missed most when we left the UK was the theatre community I'd been part of for years. . Expat communities definitely provide a lot of that same camaraderie and connection that comes from facing challenges together. But it's still something special to recapture the backstage buzz. . I was finally reminded what I was missing when waiting in the wings for a production of 'Under Milk Wood' in Kampala, Uganda, thrilling to the air charged with adrenaline, the murmur of the gathering audience, and the sense of belonging I felt with the new family I was ever-so-briefly part of. . Since then, I've sought it out where I possibly can. The picture is from a bilingual mashup of A Midsummer Night's Dream in Pointe-Noire, Congo. (All luvvie credit to my handsome and talented 'Bottom' @stevenlohick. Français dessous.) . In #Esbjerg, I've had such a blast getting to know a brand-new group of performers with Esbjerg English Theatre. The fact that we should have been staging our first-ever performance in April is the only cancellation I've personally really grieved. We are missing each other, and the chance to bring our project to fruition. It's always the way with international groups that you've got to get a performance in the schedule before someone's departure date...now that date has passed. We are eager to reconnect and create something new though. . I thought that leaving to become an expat would create a theatre-sized hole in my life. It turns out that it's given me some of my most rewarding and enriching expat experiences. . Quand je suis parti en expat, je croyais que ma vie sur scène me manquerait le plus. Mais en fait, je compte mes aventures théâtrales entre les plus enrichissants de ma vie expatriée. Dans le photo: Le songe d'une nuit d'été bilingue, à Pointe-Noire, avec mon beau et doué Bottom/Navette @stevenlohick (📸@le_chat.miaou je crois? @mixi.arts242 ) . . . #jefaisdutheatrelesoirenamateur #amdram #theatrelife #missing #esbjergenglishtheatre #kads #mayonthemove2020

❤️Culture Blend❤️ . We're not a culturally blended family, in the sense that we all have the same passport country, and even though MT had some expat experiences growing up, as a couple we are both grounded in a similar cultural upbringing. As it turned out, even though our kids have never lived full-time in Scotland, only one of them was born overseas - to what extent they will identify with their Scottish roots growing up will remain to be seen though. . (Interestingly though, 7yo said out of the blue this morning. ‘I like Scotland, because when I’m there I feel like I’m supposed to be there.’ ❤️) . One of the real pleasures of my expat journey has been discovering just how much of what I once considered 'normal' or even important, was in fact cultural, an outcome of the layers of national and social culture I grew up in. I relish peeling away those layers, deciding what to keep, and choosing what to adopt from the places and people that have impacted me along the way. . An important blend has been to let my envy of my N. American friends become an influence: letting go of the British reticence to talk myself up and celebrate my talents and achievements. I can tell you what I'm good at now. . My third culture influence is evident when I meet someone new and decide there and then I will make them my friend, or when I seize an opportunity YESTERDAY because I'm counting down the months in a place. . What have I kept? . I'll always buy a round. 'Don't argue - it's my culture!' . . . #cultureblend #thirdculturespace #cheers #myround #mayonthemove2020 #mayonthemove #instagramchallenge #maychallenge #expatchallenge #expatlife #expatliving #immigrant #immigration #immigrantstories #immigrantexperience #internationalliving #repat #repatriation #community #communitychallenge #internationalcommunity #expatcommunity #globalnomad #creatingconnection #shareandconnect @oregongirl_aroundtheworld @theinternationaldenmark

🤨Culture Shock🤔 . I don't know if the word 'shock' is the most useful one here: it suggests a moment of having our values cracked open, of complete incomprehension, of a hard clash. . I can't bring to mind many moments of 'Oh My God' in encountering other cultures, of being literally shocked by something. . But I do know that the constant emotional work of processing everything new we encounter in the context of what we already know, of unconsciously making those judgements and comparisons, is demanding, and can be draining, even at the same time as it is exciting and invigorating. . It's also the hard work of finding balance: adapting your values and behaviours to the ones around you, striving to be respectful, to learn, to conform to some extent, while at the same time holding on to the values and traditions and behaviours that are essentially you, wherever you might have gathered them from. Otherwise, you lose yourself somewhere in the middle, with nothing to hold on to. . The picture is from Uganda, where, between amazing safaris, I did get a bit lost in the middle. Not because of the country, which is stunning, or because of Kampala, which is a diverse and cosmopolitan city, but because of trying to fit in with the expectations of a very different lifestyle, at the same time as adapting to being a new parent-of-two. . I've learned that whatever I can do to adapt and conform, can only ever be successful when I also celebrate myself. In all its culturally blended uniqueness. To be continued... . . . #uganda #ugandacrane #murchisonfalls #safari #kampala #cultureshock #mayonthemove2020 #mayonthemove #instagramchallenge #maychallenge #expatchallenge #expatlife #expatliving #immigrant #immigration #immigrantstories #immigrantexperience #internationalliving #repat #repatriation #community #communitychallenge #internationalcommunity #expatcommunity #globalnomad #creatingconnection #shareandconnect @oregongirl_aroundtheworld @theinternationaldenmark

The bucket list: a term laden with baggage all of its own. . For some, it's become synonymous with the worst kind of insta-travel, coveting destinations purely for an aesthetic that fits in a curated feed, crossing borders for a day simply to tick off another country, a feeling that travel means keeping up with the digital nomad Joneses. . For others, it keeps its connotation of aspiring to something that takes us out of the everyday, in travel or in life, whether we formalise it or keep it on our minds. It can remind us to look for deeper experiences, deeper meaning. . For me, one of the big advantages of the serial expat life is that when we arrive somewhere new, and have our eyes opened to the opportunities to explore around us, that departure date can help keep us laser-focused on making the most of the opportunity while we can. I've seen a lot more of most places I've lived than in some parts of Scotland, where there isn't that sense of urgency, where I can travel around 'any time'. . Still, even in exciting expat destinations, life takes over. Weekends become filled with garden maintenance, birthday parties, and football training, and before you know it, a couple of months has passed in the suburban everyday. That's why I started to actually write some bucket lists on my blog, to remind me to make the most of our time in Denmark (about another year probably) and so that I don't start the weekend saying 'What will we do?' but instead 'Here's what we'll do.' I put it aside at the start of lockdown, but now that we can anticipate travelling at least within Denmark, I'll be revisiting my Scandinavian travel goals. . In the meantime, you can follow the link in bio to my Jutland bucket list (growing all the time!) because it's good to start local! . #mayonthemove2020 #esbjerg #jutland #jylland #travelgoals #startlocal

✨Local ✨ . Shout out to the Silver City on #MayontheMove2020 day 7, as the place where I feel most like a local. . International living and finding home in third culture spaces has defined my last decade, my family's life, and my life as a parent. . But before that I had a whole other life, in Aberdeen. I didn't grow up there, but I chose it for my home as a young adult. I studied there, then later, claimed it as my own, and independently built a career and social life over a decade. . I don't just feel I belong there, but also that the streets belong to me. Almost every corner has memories, and streets and buildings hold my stories and accomplishments. . I found my path there, and my (singing) voice, and finally, I found MT and off we went somewhere else. . But now we have a house in Aberdeen, and the expectation that we will return and settle for at least a few years of our kids' lives. Mind you, even if I do feel like a local when we go back for visits, it's with our returned expat friends that we always end up spending more time (other than family). . There's definitely something to be said for feeling like a local in the liminal spaces between geography. . Pictured: the view of Belmont Street (so many stories!),from the fabulous new incarnation of Aberdeen Art Gallery, and a highlight from last year’s Nuart street art festival. . . . #aberdeen #silvercity #granitecity #local #belmontstreet #artinaberdeen #nuart #streetart #seeninthedeen @nuartaberdeen @abdnartmuseums #mayonthemove #instagramchallenge #maychallenge #expatchallenge #expatlife #expatliving #immigrant #immigration #immigrantstories #immigrantexperience #internationalliving #repat #repatriation #community #communitychallenge #internationalcommunity #expatcommunity #globalnomad #creatingconnection #shareandconnect @oregongirl_aroundtheworld @theinternationaldenmark

🌃 City❤️🌃 . #MayontheMove2020 Day 6 . One of the advantages of the serial expat life is that you can take an experience you wouldn't normally choose, and make the most of it, knowing you're not committed to a lifestyle long-term. . Esbjerg is a small (but growing, dynamic) town, where we live in the most suburban suburbia you could imagine. We rent an easy, liveable, modern house, and it's close to the school, and our children can cycle around independently on bike paths surrounded by green spaces, comfortably far from busy roads. . But I am a city lover through and through. I love the constant action, the anonymity, the sense of self-sufficiency that comes from navigating the urban landscape by hopping on and off of mass transit that's always there, the physical connectedness, the proximity of all you could want. . (Of course cities don't feel much like that just now, I know. I am enough of an optimist to look forward to them feeling like that again 😊) . #Copenhagen is only just day-trippable from where we are, and it makes for a long day, but for me, the long days and overnights are worth it for that city fix. I had managed to get in a few trips already this year before the lockdown, trying out the new metro, eating diverse foods, cool coffee shops, good times with friends, art, culture... so that should keep me going for a while. . In the meantime, I'll appreciate our wide open spaces, and live vicariously through @oregongirl_aroundtheworld's urban lockdown walks (in her stories most days - don't miss). . . . #citylove #urbangirl #urbanliving #suburbanlife #esbjerg #danishliving #cph #mayonthemove #instagramchallenge #maychallenge #expatchallenge #expatlife #expatliving #immigrant #immigration #immigrantstories #immigrantexperience #internationalliving #repat #repatriation #community #communitychallenge #internationalcommunity #expatcommunity #globalnomad #creatingconnection #shareandconnect @oregongirl_aroundtheworld @theinternationaldenmark

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