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The Frustrated Nester

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I KonMari'd My Mind

March 28, 2020 frustratednesterLeave a comment

This is a longer read, so top up your beverage and settle in... It was overwhelming, that first week at home. Before I say more, I am not complaining. I have nothing to complain about. My family and I are healthy and comfortable in our home, with a garden, in a leafy neighbourhood threaded with… Continue reading I KonMari'd My Mind

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#MayontheMove2020: How was it for you?
#MayontheMove2020 Inspiration
Announcing #MayontheMove2020!
I KonMari'd My Mind
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16 prompts 87 participants 823 posts (and counting...) One amazing community! . It's the last day of #MayontheMove2020 and the prompt for today is 'Repost'. In the spirit of sharing the love and lifting up the community, find something to share from at least one other participant, whether a post that resonated, or a blog article, podcast episode, or other resource that appeals to you. Share it in your own feed (I use the Repost app for this - there are others) or in your stories, with a comment about why you're sharing it. If you want a reminder, check out the 'Discover' highlight in my profile (still a work in progress 😁). . And hey, let's keep doing that, even beyond the challenge! Today, I'm particularly thinking of the opportunity we have to amplify voices and perspectives that are very different from our own. I've written more about how we can keep connecting over on the blog (link in bio ⬆️). . I've also reflected on what I've learned this month, from the power of comments, to how we tell our stories - go have a read. . I've said it once, twice, thrice, and I'll say it again! Thank you!! To Erin @oregongirl_aroundtheworld for buddying up with me, to everyone who faithfully posted throughout the month, to everyone who brought all their lovely intentions and support even if they only posted once, to the cheerleading Instagrammers following along (join in next year?) and to @theinternationaldenmark for their support and enthusiasm. . If you've got a blog, you can celebrate along with me by grabbing this image as a badge from my website, and adding it to your sidebar, if you're so inclined. (Special thanks to @cathulu26 for her inspiration here!) . Wishing you fresh inspiration as we go into another month, along with health, justice, and some light at the end of the tunnel. . Catriona x . #mayonthemove2020 #repost #creatingcommunity #sharethelove #thankyou #iloveitwhenaplancomestogether

✨✨✨ #MayontheMove2020 How was it for you? ✨✨✨ . Tomorrow is the last day of May, and this month...for me? . Overwhelming! 😊😊😊 . I’ll say a bit more tomorrow about what I’ve learned this month, but for the moment I just want to CELEBRATE 🥂how exhilarating it’s been to watch this community of international-living Instagrammers come together. . As a thank you I’m giving away a copy of the expat anthology ‘Life on the Move’ (swipe to see contents and a sneek preview of my essay), published last year by Lisa Webb of @canadianexpatmom . Follow the link in bio to my ‘How was it for you?’ blog post, where you’ll find a super-quick survey. . Now, if there’s anything more annoying in our modern times than companies always asking for feedback, it’s that second email where they whinily ask you again. Needy much? . So, this is the only time I’ll mention this! 😜 I’d love feedback, if you have any comments, but you can just as easily ignore the questions and add your entry for the giveaway at the end. . It’s open to anyone who took part in the #mayonthemove2020 challenge at least once before today (30 May), having tagged the hosts (@thefrustratednester and @oregongirl_aroundtheworld ) . Add your entry before 9am CET 8 June 2020. . Consider this the first of a million thank yous over the next couple of days! . #thankyou #celebrate #lifeonthemovebook #lifeonthemove @theinternationaldenmark

✨Best Advice✨ . Last year, on the occasion of my 10th 'expativersary', I celebrated by gathering together the ten biggest lessons I've learned over the years. Follow the link in my bio⬆️to read the pearls of my limited wisdom. . Here, I've highlighted the one I felt was most important then, and which I think has really emerged as a theme in lots of people's posts and comments this month as part of #MayontheMove2020. Adaptation does not mean fitting in. . And it completely chimes with the best advice I've received recently, quoted in @communicatingacrossboundaries' #cultureblend post: . 'Equip them so that rather than blend in, they can, with humility and a touch of class, stand out.' ❤️ Sean Ghazi, Keynote Speaker at FIGT conference 2018. . I'd love to know which of my lessons resonates with you, and what living abroad has taught you❓ . . . #bestadvice #expattips #expathacks #lessonslearned #expativersary #thefrustratednester #mayonthemove #instagramchallenge #maychallenge #expatchallenge #expatlife #expatliving #immigrant #immigration #immigrantstories #immigrantexperience #internationalliving #repat #repatriation #community #communitychallenge #internationalcommunity #expatcommunity #globalnomad #creatingconnection #shareandconnect @oregongirl_aroundtheworld @theinternationaldenmark

'The Frustrated...Nester? What's that all about then?' . Occasionally someone instantly gets it, and I know they think like me! . #MayontheMove2020 day 14: #lodging . I've always been the nesting type. I remember the thrill of picking out new bedlinen or furniture for my childhood bedroom; then moving the furniture around as soon as I moved into university halls (dorms); the first piece of furniture I bought myself - it was the 90s, so it was a fancy futon, to create a cosy lounge area in the large room I rented when I started my first teaching job; then my deep satisfaction in the colour scheme I had chosen (don't ask!) as I painted the bedroom of the first flat I owned. (It was the early '00s, when young professionals could still actually buy property 😅) . If other girls imagined a wedding in their teens, I imagined the dream house I would own, how I would decorate it, where it would be, the independent life that would go with it. . Never did that dream house look like a temporary apartment furnished so sparsely it was like being back in student halls, or a communist-era concrete shell with the world's smallest toilet cubicle, or a supposedly 'luxury' apartment where closer inspection revealed that the taps didn't reach into the sink, or a succession of kitchens apparently designed for the world's tallest cooks. . Then again, I never imagined myself living in a beautiful Béarnaise-style house with a grand, sunny garden, (pictured, but with snow on the palms 😍) and the Danish house we are currently in does come quite close to that teen dream home, if it weren't for the effin LEGO and CHEERIOS on EVERY SURFACE! . When I started the blog I had had the idea to write about creating a home, a nest, wherever we went, but I ended up writing about other things that resonated with readers more. Now, I'm finding a balance between creating a home, and making the most of the opportunities outside that home. . But when I get in that nest, I'm going to have quite a long list of what I definitely don't want!

❤️Souvenirs ❤️ . Most objects that really stir an emotion in me remind me of people, rather than just a place. . #mayonthemove2020 day 13 . Here’s a wee tour from our home, of some of our people: . 1. Whenever I visited @kampalafair with friends, I would lust over these colourful rag rugs being handwoven on the terrace. Said friends got me one as a leaving present, including @melfit.athome.yes 😘 . 2. A pot that reminds me of a special moment in Uganda with my brother, Congolese malachite, another leaving gift from special friends, and handwoven Rwandan baskets, brought to us by our Ugandan driver after he visited the Rwandan branch of his family. . 3. Ink drawing of a Congolese beach case by @effecm . 4. Indonesian fabric panel, a gorgeous gift from @ira_rachma . 5. Stunning painting by our friend @blackie_paints. . 6. France meets Scotland in a reminder of our Pauster friends, including the artist @dotrogersting . 7. A Scottish friend in Esbjerg gave us this evocative card by @gilliankyle for our housewarming - had to be framed! . 8. This piece of pagne, as it’s called in Congo, was given to me by the woman who cleaned the stairs in our building. She wasn’t employed by us, I barely knew her, but I helped her out a couple of times with medical expenses - just a few quid. I don’t know if I’ll ever use this particular pattern, but I’ll always keep it, and remember that tiny gestures can mean more to people than we can guess. . 9. Memories of Friday nights at Camel Club with special friends in Kampala - this lamp design was part of its chic decor. . #souvenirs #memories #favouriteart #kampala #uganda #congo #scotland #france #mayonthemove #instagramchallenge #maychallenge #expatchallenge #expatlife #expatliving #immigrant #immigration #immigrantstories #immigrantexperience #internationalliving #repat #repatriation #community #communitychallenge #internationalcommunity #expatcommunity #globalnomad #creatingconnection #shareandconnect @oregongirl_aroundtheworld @theinternationaldenmark

🇩🇰 Language 🇩🇰 . I was horrified with myself a few years ago, when we arrived at a resort near Dubrovnik. . It was our first proper holiday as a family, with a 14mo, and the next one on the way. In the whirlwind of new parenthood (as well as preparing for our very complicated upcoming move) not only had I not done my usual close reading of the guidebook, but I had not learned one word of Croatian. I hadn't even looked up the words for please and thank you. . I felt completely lost in that moment. Not because I couldn't be understood, but because I felt a chunk of my identity was missing. I prided myself as being someone who learned the basic phrases wherever I went, with ease. I was the kind of tourist who paid at least that much respect to the local culture. . The culture shock of parenthood had turned me into someone who said, 'just get me there!' . In the autumn I stopped going to Danish lessons because I wanted that chunk of time back for other things. There's a balance to be found between making the effort to integrate and investing too much time and energy in a language that I'll only use for, most likely, another year, and even then, rarely. And it takes a LOT of investment to communicate comfortably in Danish. . But I had a rethink of that philosophy recently. It's one thing for your language to mark you out as a foreigner in daily life, but quite another in a time of crisis. I've been making more of an effort to use my limited Danish over the past weeks, and found that I can get further than I realised. I've surprised MT with how much of the government's information bulletins I can read before I have to open Google translate. . All that's given me enough of a thrill (yes, a thrill - #geekingout) to recommit to learning more Danish. Hopefully, once I have full days back (kids are only in school for half days) I'll find a class that suits me. In the meantime, I'm dipping into language apps in spare moments, and just might finally open that audiobook I downloaded... . . . #language #languagegeek #learndanish #laerdansk #languagelearning

I was supposed to be in Stockholm this weekend for @swfestival writers’ festival. They’re doing a virtual version instead (the ‘stuck home’ writers’ festival 😉), so I’ve reclaimed the study for some virtual creative retreat time. Bonus: I get to make my own tea and choose my own snacks 😊 (My ‘book nerd’ mug isn’t very instagrammable, but that’s what it says!) . #stuckhome #stockholmwritersfestival #amwriting #amlearning #retreatathome #writinglife #writersofinstagram #booknerd

🎭 Missing 🎭 . One of the things I missed most when we left the UK was the theatre community I'd been part of for years. . Expat communities definitely provide a lot of that same camaraderie and connection that comes from facing challenges together. But it's still something special to recapture the backstage buzz. . I was finally reminded what I was missing when waiting in the wings for a production of 'Under Milk Wood' in Kampala, Uganda, thrilling to the air charged with adrenaline, the murmur of the gathering audience, and the sense of belonging I felt with the new family I was ever-so-briefly part of. . Since then, I've sought it out where I possibly can. The picture is from a bilingual mashup of A Midsummer Night's Dream in Pointe-Noire, Congo. (All luvvie credit to my handsome and talented 'Bottom' @stevenlohick. Français dessous.) . In #Esbjerg, I've had such a blast getting to know a brand-new group of performers with Esbjerg English Theatre. The fact that we should have been staging our first-ever performance in April is the only cancellation I've personally really grieved. We are missing each other, and the chance to bring our project to fruition. It's always the way with international groups that you've got to get a performance in the schedule before someone's departure date...now that date has passed. We are eager to reconnect and create something new though. . I thought that leaving to become an expat would create a theatre-sized hole in my life. It turns out that it's given me some of my most rewarding and enriching expat experiences. . Quand je suis parti en expat, je croyais que ma vie sur scène me manquerait le plus. Mais en fait, je compte mes aventures théâtrales entre les plus enrichissants de ma vie expatriée. Dans le photo: Le songe d'une nuit d'été bilingue, à Pointe-Noire, avec mon beau et doué Bottom/Navette @stevenlohick (📸@le_chat.miaou je crois? @mixi.arts242 ) . . . #jefaisdutheatrelesoirenamateur #amdram #theatrelife #missing #esbjergenglishtheatre #kads #mayonthemove2020

❤️Culture Blend❤️ . We're not a culturally blended family, in the sense that we all have the same passport country, and even though MT had some expat experiences growing up, as a couple we are both grounded in a similar cultural upbringing. As it turned out, even though our kids have never lived full-time in Scotland, only one of them was born overseas - to what extent they will identify with their Scottish roots growing up will remain to be seen though. . (Interestingly though, 7yo said out of the blue this morning. ‘I like Scotland, because when I’m there I feel like I’m supposed to be there.’ ❤️) . One of the real pleasures of my expat journey has been discovering just how much of what I once considered 'normal' or even important, was in fact cultural, an outcome of the layers of national and social culture I grew up in. I relish peeling away those layers, deciding what to keep, and choosing what to adopt from the places and people that have impacted me along the way. . An important blend has been to let my envy of my N. American friends become an influence: letting go of the British reticence to talk myself up and celebrate my talents and achievements. I can tell you what I'm good at now. . My third culture influence is evident when I meet someone new and decide there and then I will make them my friend, or when I seize an opportunity YESTERDAY because I'm counting down the months in a place. . What have I kept? . I'll always buy a round. 'Don't argue - it's my culture!' . . . #cultureblend #thirdculturespace #cheers #myround #mayonthemove2020 #mayonthemove #instagramchallenge #maychallenge #expatchallenge #expatlife #expatliving #immigrant #immigration #immigrantstories #immigrantexperience #internationalliving #repat #repatriation #community #communitychallenge #internationalcommunity #expatcommunity #globalnomad #creatingconnection #shareandconnect @oregongirl_aroundtheworld @theinternationaldenmark

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